2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
