How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
