problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
