i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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