All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
