My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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