Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
