What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
