I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
You were trust falling into bushes
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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