you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
