i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
