strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize