I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
