Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize