And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
It's rum buckets o'clock
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
