Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
You were trust falling into bushes
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
