The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize