I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
