the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
