I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
