Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
