I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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