you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
