I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
