your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
