shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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