He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
