Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
