they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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