This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
