I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
