We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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