im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
dude. I can hear the air.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
