After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Randomize