I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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