didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
