id be glad to
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
