duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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