carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
