hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize