Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
