Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
