I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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