trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize