the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
