Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
