Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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