I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
