dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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