addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
