Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
