he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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