just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
