i may or may not be watching the land before time
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
