I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize