You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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