Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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