What a fucking waste of an outfit
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
