kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
