I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
try to milk me bitch
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