marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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