i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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