Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize